HubNut Blog

What’s on my mind?

The New Range Rover

Well, it’s new to me anyway!

Having decided that the Scimitar wasn’t really my kind of car, I went out and bought something that I thought might be closer to the mark. With the plastic fantastic from Tamworth sold, I stuck true to my Midlands roots and bought another Land Rover.

I owned a 90 County V8 last winter, but it didn’t take long for the ridiculous fuel economy – 15mpg – to get a bit much. So it had to go, turning in a handy profit. Rare for me. The 90 wasn’t very practical either – the loadspace is remarkably short.

But I wanted something else from the Solihull firm. It was time for my first Range Rover.

I had my school work experience at Land Rover, as a very lucky 15 year old, and I’ve long had an affinity for their products. The Range Rover has become just as much of an icon as the original Land Rover, though prices haven’t yet caught up. Not by a long way.

I went to view a Range Rover V8 on LPG, but it was an absolute dog that couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding. It also had a really bad exhaust leak, on the manifold I think, an LPG tank taking up most of the boot space and some serious cosmetic issues. It was so bad that even I managed to walk away.

I then checked out a Range Rover diesel.

It was advertised as a Tdi but I got so distracted when I went to view it that I failed to notice that it was actually a VM diesel engine. Idiot! However, it drove very well indeed, so I still agreed to go ahead – albeit paying a few hundred pounds less. Still, it was a gamble. £1000 for a Range Rover on French plates (but with a British ID as well) with no MOT. With the much-derided Italian VM diesel. What could possibly go wrong?

The gamble does seem to have paid off though – I was rewarded with a total MOT bill of just £245 including two new tyres and number plates. That didn’t seem too bad to me.

And it really isn’t too bad. Sure, the engine is a bit laggy, it’s a bit scruffy and the previous owner left it filthy and smoked in, but it drives very nicely, seems remarkably solid in all the important places and should prove just the vehicle I need while we make some home improvements.

There are some niggles – only the driver’s electric window was working, though one of the rears is now playing ball after a fuse change. The headlining was sagging as well, so I’ve removed it while I decide whether to fit a new GRP one or to re-trim the original. There is a slight leak from one of the front hubs and the heater blower doesn’t operate – I’ve ordered a new resistor pack to cure this.

I love it though. The price paid doesn’t seem much for an absolute icon. Sure, an earlier one would have more appeal, but these later ones are much more refined – even when fitted with a rattly Italian diesel engine.

Brushes up alright on her British plates, don’t you t

Sweet Music?

Owning a selection of cars is a lot like managing a rock band. Probably.

You need the right ingredients. After selling my Citroen BX, the ‘band’ that is my fleet felt out of balance. It was like the drummer had stopped mid-track and dropped his sticks. Don’t get me wrong though – the BX was no Keith Moon. Rather it was a bit of a Ringo Starr. Didn’t do anything spectacular really, but kept everything together (most of the time), though I don’t think the BX would be any good at narrating Thomas the Tank Engine. Sure, the stripey nature of the car and the trick suspension was perhaps a bit of an Octopus’s Garden, but generally, it provided the rhythm to fleet harmony. With the car gone, harmony departed with it and the fleet was unable to continue its career in any meaningful way. There was only one thing to do. Scout about for a new drummer. The Saab was chosen to fit that role, and while there have been some teething troubles (always tricky when a new musician joins an outfit) it’s poised to take on the Ringo role. Maybe a bit more jazzy like John Densmore of The Doors.

I did try a V8 Land Rover in the role of bassist, but it proved lacking in the thundering bass department, despite 3528cc of American-bred, aluminium engine. Perhaps that was the problem because the Scimitar fits the role rather well. The heavy V6 Essex engine bellow a strident bassline at the world. It isn’t the most exciting of bassists perhaps, lacking the zaniness of Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers or sheer oddness of Roger Waters from the mighty Floyd, but it adds that all important lower level noise with plenty of style, while looking good in Seventies vinyl. Suzi Quatro it is then.

The colourful guitar stylings are naturally the home of the Citroen 2CV. It may only pack 602cc but crikey does that light-weight engine sing and scream! It’ll hurt your ears with its force, but don’t let the bark fool you – it’s all cuddly and nice really. Only one band fits the bill for me, being the only force of music that I’ve ever seen that left my ears ringing two days after the concert. After the final song, the lead singer/guitarist just stayed at the microphone and pleasantly asked whether everyone was having a nice time. Aw, he did seem nice. That man is Robb Flynn of Machine Head.

All this leaves the Mini a bit like Linda McCartney in Wings. Pointless and not really necessary. She needs to go, so if you can offer Betsy the Mini a new life, perhaps launching a range of vegetarian food and guest-starring in The Simpsons, please feel free to come and visit with your chequebook open.

The trouble with crap cars

In theory, cheap, crap cars are great. People just don’t want them, and so don’t rate them in the slightest. This makes them cheap. Cheap is good. The knack to buying a good cheap car is to find one that’s been in a long ownership. Don’t buy one that’s already done the rounds amongst the tight-fisted or unbothered – those who want a car to be as cheap as possible and therefore won’t spend a penny on its upkeep.

When owning older cars, be prepared for plenty of tinkering

However, you still need to be prepared for trouble to strike. Like my Saab. It hasn’t taken much work to get the cooling fan fixed but it was a day of my time (though I had to fit it around writing and actually earning some actual money). I don’t mind because that enforced tinkering helps me get familiar with my new steed. I now know it has a surprisingly good toolkit – immaculate and unused until yesterday. I know it now has fresh engine coolant and that when the temperature gauge goes up, the fan WILL cut in. I know where both fuseboxes are, and which relay is involved with cooling fan operation.

Saab 9000 packs a mighty useful took-kit

Tinkering is an absolutely essential part of older car ownership. It saves an absolute fortune for a start. I used to suffer from a severe dislike of tinkering, but I think that was due to poor facilities and not enough tools. That and my own uselessness. I have little patience with myself. But while you don’t need to be a certified mechanic, it really does pay to know your way around your steed.

Is that knocking noise something that can be ignored or is the engine about to breathe its last? I have no tools and precious little equipment with me, can I still effect a repair using only shoelaces and gaffer tape? Even the art of limping home in a poorly car is an art form which thankfully, I possess. Driving a Mini with a failing condenser is an interesting experience and I once naughtily drove to a 2CV specialist with the brake lights operated by the headlight switch after a fault developed on the fuse panel. Several times, I’ve driven through city streets with no clutch. That’s always fun.

But I love it. Cars are so much more than tools to get from A to B. Yes, they demand attention almost as much as the bloody cat (but thankfully catch and shred less mice) but they reward as well – in financial terms, but also in spirit.

Ok, maybe this is me trying to put a gloss on the fact that the Saab could do with a new timing chain, the 2CV needs cylinder head work and the Scimitar has wiring (no, really?!) and steering issues. Clearly I must be wicked.

Swedish stunner – she’s hot

My joy at yet another new car has been tainted somewhat by the discovery that the cooling fan isn’t working. I’m glad we had a low-temperature, traffic-free trip back home that didn’t cause overheating. Looks like the fan switch is at fault, so it least it should be easy to solve. A new switch has been ordered, along with a Haynes Book of Lies.

Scandinavian beauty gets all hot

It’s hard to be disappointed with the car though – it did cost me less than £600 after all. I’m only disappointed with myself for failing to spot the issue during the test. Once again, I went into a purchase with the best of intentions and once again, I ballsed up. Imagine the catastrophe that would have unfolded if we’d gone along with my original desire to buy the Saab and then immediately undertake a drive to Kent from our Welsh home! We would have ended up on the hard shoulder of the M25 in a big steamy mess, probably with a blown head gasket and a repair job higher than the cost of the car in the first place.

Will I learn? Probably not. Just to rub salt into the wounds, the Volvo I also looked at has now been reduced to the same price as the Saab! Yet I still think the Saab was the better purchase. It’s smoother, quieter and really quite eerily quiet on the move. I reckon the Saab should still edge the blocky Volvo at the pumps too – fuel consumption according to the on-board computer (cool eh? Volvo didn’t have that – though it did have a graphic equaliser for the stereo, and overdrive…) is somewhere between 35 and 38mpg so far.

It’s all part of the adventure of buying older cars though, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I didn’t buy a car, but I did

Shock headline news! I went and looked at a car today, and didn’t buy it! Though I did still buy a car…

I’ve been keeping my eye on the classifieds. Since I sold the BX last month, I’ve been struggling to decide what to replace it with. When it comes to mixing comfort, economy and eccentricity, there’s nothing to touch it. So I gave up trying to find its equal – for the time being.

My poor wife has been driven mad by me browsing for cars. She owns a Mini, and likes going to 2CV events, but isn’t really a car person. Despite this, I’ve been trying to point out the merits of cars that have caught my attention – though it is quite handy to have someone who can calmly point out that replacing a BX 1.9 diesel with a Carlton GSi that can do 150mph may not be sensible. I’m still not entirely sure that I see her point though…

I decided that the new car had to be over 20 years old, to ensure I can insure it on my classic policy. This point was really driven home by a brief and crazy exploration of Alfa Romeo ownership – a 156 2.4JTD five-pot diesel looked ideal until I started getting insurance quotes that were almost as much as the purchase price of the car. Besides – old cars are better really aren’t they? More simple, easy to work on and a statement to the world that I haven’t been fooled by the so-called merits of a modern car. The downsides are that 20 years ago, diesels were still a relatively new thing for the mainstream market – the BX and its Citroen/Peugeot siblings really did lead the way. A Mk2 Cavalier diesel had to make do with 55bhp when launched for instance! Not ideal for the hills of Wales.

So, I decided to ignore economy. Well, not ignore. The Scimitar reminds me that an outright fuel guzzler is not ideal. I lowered my standards and decided that anything capable of 30+mpg was worth a look.

Amazingly, two very different cars leapt onto my radar at the same time. They were both right on the limit of my date cut-off, both had 2.3-litre engines, both hailed from Sweden and both were for sale in Wales. The first car was a Volvo 740GLT saloon, though of the later facelift shape which I’m not that keen on. Still, at £700 for a 144k mile saloon in stunning overall condition and with full service history, it was worth a look. It was nice to drive as well, feeling a bit like a grown up Cortina. It had that lithe, rear-wheel drive feel and went like stink – why did people feel the need for a turbocharger as well? Overdrive was an oddity for 1990 but would help with economy. Sadly, as with a previous 740 that I owned, it was let down my hideous interior plastic that created lots of rattles. It had the odd battlescar that detracted form the superb overall condition. It was in the running, but first, the competitor!

The Saab was 75 miles away, but £105 cheaper. The sun was shining, so out in the 2CV I headed. This was even better in terms of condition. 188k miles, 1 owner from new and full main dealer service history. To drive, it felt much more modern than the square-rigged Volvo. It was tighter and felt more secure – with a tough, hardy interior that made not a squeak. Mix in better economy, a more composed ride and the practicality of a hatchback and you can see why I was soon handing over a deposit.

Another Swedish stunner – this Saab 9000 certainly fitted the bill

What really struck me with this pair is just what you can get for your money. There really does seem little reason to buy anything more modern, or more expensive. Will these golden days last? I’m not sure. Really, cars from the early 1990s represent the last of the relatively-simple line. The more modern you get, the more you encounter unfathomable electronics, expensive part failures and proper, built in obsolescence. Why have a switch to operate the reverse lights when a nice expensive computer can make the decision? Why not fit a dual mass flywheel, which will go wrong and cost over a grand to replace?

The future of bangernomics is certainly not assured. I shall enjoy it while I can!

Don’t buy the first one you see

It’s a simple rule isn’t it? Yet one I ignore every fapping time. Back in December, I bought the first Land Rover I saw and ok, that worked well. Got me through the winter and then delivered me an actual profit. Apparently there was also a blue moon that night.

Next came the Scimitar. I might not have been quite in control of my senses as I let myself believe with this one. Having driven for three hours in the 2CV to view the Reliant, I think I was always going to buy it as long as it looked good. It did look good too, and to be fair, there’s really not a lot wrong with it and I certainly have no complaints for the price paid.

Yet, there are several annoyances that I should have known about before handing over the folding stuff. All of these could have been identified during a nice, lengthy test drive. Sadly, there was no chance for one of those as the car lacked MOT, tax and insurance when I went to look at it. I had to use a degree of trust.

Had I been able to get behind the wheel, I would have noticed the way the steering seems to bind when turning to the right and the fact that the cooling fan seems to run perhaps a little more often than is desirable. I might have noticed the rather poor, unbalanced brakes or the way that the temp gauge and voltmeter tell fibs when lights/wipers are on.

Like I say, no complaints for the money paid, but I am left with an ever-growing list of things that need attention and not much time in which to do them. I think a front wheel bearing is in bad shape, possibly both, though they’re not expensive thankfully. The cooling system needs a flush – dare I say it but that’s a standard situation for many Scimitars. The brakes have already been fettled – one rear brake was so far out of adjustment that (along with the wheel bearing) I’m wondering just how exactly an MOT was obtained.

Anyway, the point that I’m really trying to drive home to myself is that it certainly pays to look at more than one example of a car you’re considering buying – unless it’s so rare that it would be impossible. Scimitars are always on the market and I’m now giving serious thought to purchasing a Jaguar XJ6. Maybe I’m wrong to be worried – I mean, what could possibly go wrong?!

So, what is the perfect car?

I’m always asked what my favourite car is, which is silly. I can’t possibly have a favourite. In thinking about this, I reckon it’s because the perfect car just doesn’t exist.

Those who know me will know that the Citroen 2CV is a car I regard very fondly. I’ve owned over 15 since I was 18 and would never be without one. Nothing else matches them for grin factor on a hoon – even more powerful sports cars. They’re enormously practical, very well supported, easy to work on and owned by a wonderfully varied bunch of people. Yet there are downsides. Driving one on a windy day is horrific, they’re not the best on motorways – even though you can drive them flat out for hours – and parts are getting pricier.

On the other hand, a TVR Chimaera looks beautiful and makes a noise that can bring a fully grown man to tears, but they’re rubbish if you want to get a 210l water butt home, or carry more than one passenger.

I once owned a 1991 Honda Civic 1.4GL and that managed to be both rev-happy, practical and fun and economical, despite having twin carburettors. That was ruined by hideously over-assisted steering and rot. It was also a bit buzzy at motorway speeds.

Ah, so if we’re after motorway cruising ability, how about the Volvo 740? I once bought an estate with the 2.3-litre engine and slushbox. It cost me £150, mainly because the cold-start system was knackered and the interior was falling apart. On motorways, it was truly superb. It was doing just over 2000rpm at 70mph which was delivered both supreme comfort and a surprisingly easy 30mpg for such a big car. The luggage space was truly enormous and it could entertain in ways you just didn’t expect if you fancied teasing the back end out – a bit like discovering your gran having a knees-up in a night club.

I can’t really rule that the Volvo 740 is the perfect car though.

What about the Reliant Scimitar? Practicality and a thoroughly sporty driving experience! Er, no. Now I’ve got one, I seem to spend all of my time discovering the downsides of Tamworth’s plastic pretender. The footwell is hideously cramped, the steering is hideously heavy and the ride is hideously firm. It also gets through fuel rather too quickly.

Maybe the perfect car is a Land Rover – something you can take pretty much anywhere. Gawd no. It feels more like a really fast tractor.

I did think I’d found perfection this week. An Alfa Romeo 156 2.4 JTD Sportwagon. Practical, beautiful, economical, powerful and – dare I say it – reliable and rot free. The five-cylinder diesel engine is a delight, with punchy power and 45mpg, the interior has a delicious crafted feel and it was less than £1000. Apparently though, it isn’t perfection at all. It has been pointed out that the Alfa effect has utterly taken me over (again) and that it’s too complicated, not much fun to change a cambelt on and likely to ruin me.

Doesn’t mean I’m not interested though. You can’t have pleasure without pain! The motto of the Alfa owner?

The strain is all too much

I love simple motoring. Today, the clutch cable snapped on the 2CV while we were out. It has been failing in stages for some time, with the adjustment jumping out every now and then. It just took me a while to work out why…

The last ‘jump’ today left all of about two strands of cable to operate the clutch with. I didn’t fancy my chances of making it home like that but as luck would have it, I had a clutch cable underneath the front seat as part of an emergency parts package for an overseas trip last year.

Eek! The 2CV’s clutch cable doesn’t quite snap

I didn’t have any tools, but thanks to having to frequently adjust the clutch due to the cable issue, the nuts were finger tight – so I began the operation. There’s not much to it really, the only difficulty being that your hands end up covered in gunky horrible oil. Soon, the new cable was in place and off we set! I’ll adjust it up correctly now it’s got us home and I have access to tools.

It made me glad that older cars can be so simple to work on. Instead of having to contemplate a lengthy wait for recovery, I could just swap the cable and be on my way. Lovely.

Relay frustrating

I don’t know why I bother sometimes. I mean, the 2CV is about a low-tech as cars get. There’s no distributor, no radiator, no water pump, no cambelt, no brake servo, no power assisted steering, no EBD, ABS, ESP, SIPS, no electronic brains. Simple. So why do I keep trying to make it more complicated?

The idiocy began in 2003 when I fitted 123 electronic ignition to the Tin Snail, in a bid to overcome poor running due to a worn points cam and because points are a bit of a faff really aren’t they? To be fair, it did the trick, but problems weren’t far away. First, the car developed a starting fault because 123 is more power hungry than points. I had to replace the battery to overcome that one.

Ok, so that was about all that went wrong for 40,000 miles, but then starting problems struck again. I binned the unit and fitted a DG Ignition – a rather blatant copy. That lasted even less time, causing problems when I was on a 3500 mile trip all over mainland Britain. I returned to points, aided by a box of tricks from Maplin that effectively takes the high voltage power away from the points. Lovely.

The next unnecessary modern gadgets were headlamp relays. My 2CV has had halogen headlamp bulbs fitted since I bought it (I’ve never had to replace one in almost 100,000 miles!) which can cause the headlamp switch to get warm. The wise option, according to most, is to fit headlamp relays. I did this some weeks ago, having been meaning to do it for some years. After all, taking the strain off the wiring loom and switches has to be a good move doesn’t it?

Relays - good or bad?

Apparently not. I was driving home in darkest Wales, went to put main beam on and got nothing but darkness. Quite alarming as I was doing 40mph at the time! Thankfully, the headlamps did continue to work but one of my new relays is broken already. If I’d not fitted it, I wouldn’t have had a problem.

It all leaves me wondering whether sometimes it isn’t just best to leave things as the manufacturer intended. The big test for this theory might be the electric cooling fan fitted to the Scimitar…

Smitten with a Scimitar?

So, I’ve finally collected the Scimitar, but is it as good as I hoped?

Scimitar joins the fleet, with a load of parts. BX off to pastures new and already working hard

After the 120 mile drive home, I think generally, the answer is yes. Ok, so electrical gremlins are already rearing their head with a low reading on the voltmeter when lots of kit is on, but the combination of tight handling and lusty Ford Essex V6 have already started to make an impression. As has the load carrying capacity – the back is still full of spares and literature so I’ve got more than the car to get familiar with.

The first full day of ownership has allowed me to prove that the voltmeter is telling fibs – it’s actually fine – and discover that it’s a pig to start from cold. If there’s a best technique, I need to discover it. Mind you, the previous owner seemed to struggle too! There’s a sweet spot on that choke setting somewhere…

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