problems

One of those days. Again

Read through my Blogs and you’ll see that there are days that really test those who like older cars. For some reason, my cars do often seem to conspire to play up all at the same time. Today was one of those days.

Before I start, I shall exonerate the BX. It coped with a 320 mile day recently, despite still being far from entirely healthy. Perhaps I used up all of my car luck on that journey…

Anyway, I got up this morning and headed in to town for some totally unexciting shopping. Things didn’t start well – or at all – when the 2CV’s ignition barrel resolutely refused to take the key. I do have a spare barrel kicking about because the one fitted has played up before, but I was in a hurry to get to Morrisons before the Aberystwyth masses arrived. So, into the Maverick I hopped and off I went.

It was a horrible morning, with mist and rain conspiring to make me very glad of the variable intermittent wipers. Well, until they just suddenly started going continuously all of their own accord. I tried turning them off. They just kept on going. Ok. One of those delightful electrical quirks eh? Switching to fast and then off did make them behave, but then I needed the intermittent setting again – which lasted for precisely two wipes. Gah!

I bought an oil filter for the Mini and then went supermarket shopping, ensuring that I also filled my trolley with some cheap 15w40 oil for the 2CV and BX. They never get fancy stuff, especially as the BX soon leaks most of it back out. I tried not to get too upset with the wipers on the drive back and thankfully, for the most part, they did behave themselves. It’s either a relay or an earthing issue – probably not a duff wiper stalk as I first suspected.

After lunch, and far too much time spent reading the third instalment of the superb Stieg Larsson Millennium Trilogy, I eventually got myself outside to tackle an oil change on the Mini. The usual cursing and scraped knuckles ensued, and I had to park the car on pieces of wood to enable me to get my oil catch can beneath the sump. The oil filter is also horrible to get at unless you remove the grille, which involves removing and subsequently losing far too many screws. Ugh.

My mood was not enhanced when after refilling the engine with lovely, fresh 20w50 oil, a distinct dripping sound could be heard. I gawped underneath and watched lots of lovely new oil pour from somewhere at the rear of the engine. What?! It wasn’t from the sump plug or the filter. I was entirely baffled. Also, very, very anxious as the Mini is meant to be tackling a 300 mile drive to Cornwall in the morning – probably the furthest it’s ever travelled in a day in our ownership. I was starting to wonder if I should have just left it, but Minis rely on good engine oil, as it’s also the gearbox oil. And it’s well over a year since it was last changed… (to be fair, only about 2000 miles ago).

I decided to bravely attempt a test drive, as no matter what I did, I couldn’t get it to repeat the random oil dumping. It seemed to be behaving.

My conclusion is that the rocker cover gasket is shot. I think I poured so much oil in via the filler that the rocker cover actually filled up with fresh oil. I suspect (by the stains out the back of the rocker cover) that a fair dollop of the fresh oil bypassed the engine and flooded straight down the back of the engine. I hope it’ll be ok…

I try not to get too disheartened as mechanical issues are never far away when you’re dealing with older cars that have plenty of miles on them. Yet weeks can go by with no problems at all! Well, they did until I bought the BX…

At least none of these issues required a laptop to sort them out, or special tools. And as bad as a Mini is to work on, it’s a lot better than some moderns. Plus, I’d feel really, REALLY annoyed if I experienced mechanical trauma with a car that cost tens of thousands to buy. Ignoring restoration and running costs (of probably £10,000 across the entire fleet) the purchase costs of the fleet are £450 (2cv, 12 years ago), £741 (Mini, 6 years ago), £250 (BX, six months ago) and £500 (Maverick, last month). They may cause me woes at times, but financially, they still make a lot of sense!

Winter Blunderland

I must admit that winter is not my favourite season. Yes, occasionally it gets livened up by having to remember how to drive in ice and snow, but generally, it’s cold, miserable and a dreadful time to be working on the car. Especially when you’ve lost the use of your garage due to an ongoing heating project on your home. We should have got that finished BEFORE winter really, but we didn’t. Bother.

Cars don’t enjoy winter either. They don’t seem quite so keen to fire into life, leak water everywhere (yes, every single one of our cars is as watertight as a paper teapot) and the regular attention that they generally like to receive doesn’t happen because frankly the idea of working on cars at this time of year, when it’s dark and damp and miserable is not really what I’d call appealing.

Mix in those big yellow trucks that throw rot-causing salt at them and you can see why cars would rather snuggle up in a nice, warm garage. In fact, last winter I semi-stripped a 2CV engine and fitted to Elly my 2CV. Yes, I was cold at times but working in the garage was absolute bliss.

Not as dodgy as it looks. Working in a warm(ish) garage

This winter, the jobs have just ended up getting ignored. The 2CV really needs a service. The Mini really needs a service. The BX has a To Do list as long as several arms. The Peugeot needs a degree of fettling. Yet, having been treated to a garage, now it’s out of use I find myself not doing very many of the jobs at all. I just about forced myself to grease up the 2CV’s suspension the other day, and I encouraged myself to tackle a problem with the Peugeot’s exhaust – largely because it had fallen off and I really had to. It’s not good enough really. The 2CV has a very lumpy idle at the moment, caused most likely the exceedingly old spark plugs that are currently fitted. I’ve a feeling that one of them came with a cylinder head I fitted, so gawd knows how old that is.

What makes winter even more unbearable is that driving is no frequently not at all fun. First, you need to try and demist the thing – this winter has boasted some of that super-steam up effect that makes it look like your car has been parked in a stream for several days. The BX and Peugeot have typical French, asthmatic heater blowers. The Mini has a heater blower that just makes more noise than not having it switched on and the 2CV’s heater blower is the engine fan, so revs are needed to clear the screen. Then there’s the aforementioned leakage issue. The Mini and BX have soaking carpets. The 2CV leaks water straight into my shoes. The Peugeot prefers to dump it straight onto your head.

The roads aren’t fun either, being coated in greasy mud and horrible salt. It’s dark too much of the time as well. In short, I’m fed up and enjoying the fact that very slightly, the days are once more getting longer. With winter banished – and I’m very aware that we’ve got a good couple of months to go – I can start getting on top of the fleet once more AND start enjoying time at the wheel again.

Next winter, I just plan to hibernate from about mid-November. The big bonus there is that it’s a good way of avoiding bloody Christmas songs.

Happy New Year. Sort of.

Rover 75 – where others fear to tread

I love reputations. People get all sheep-like about cars at times and some very dumb theories abound. Believe the hype and you’d think that Volkswagens never break down (tell that to someone who’s six-speed gearbox has fallen to bits), any K-Series engined Rover is a headgasket failure waiting to happen and that an Alfa Romeo will only lead to heartache.

Today, I swapped one reputation for another. My Range Rover had the OMG SHYTE ENGINE VM turbo diesel. Believe what you read on forums and you’d think it is the worst engine ever built, only a matter of minutes from complete failure. Sure, having four separate cylinder heads can be a pain, but I thought the engine pulled really well, and never suffered any head gasket woes.

I swapped it for a Rover 75. These are seen as desperately uncool and only fit for grandads. Well, Grandad might well be on to something because the Rover 75 is great! Developed when BMW was in charge of Rover, the no-expense attitude meant that here was a Rover that WAS nailed together properly, and which proves very reliable in use. Yes, there are issues with the K-Series engines, which are very likely to blow head gaskets, but the BMW diesel is the natural choice. Ironically, this engine is actually more reliable in the Rover than it was in BMW’s own 3-Series. In the Beemer, it proved very problematic with all sorts of induction woes. So, BMWs aren’t always problem free either. Another myth busted.

Ian's bucked the trend again, with good reason!

The drive home in my new motor was very pleasant indeed. Don’t get me wrong, I was quite sad to wave goodbye to the Range Rover. I had a lot of fun in that car and it proved very useful at times, such as when collecting my Citroen BX project. However, with a non-working heater, it wasn’t quite the ideal winter vehicle it first seemed.

Contrast that to the Rover, which has (almost working) air-conditioning, with different temperatures possible each side of the car. It also has gorgeous, heated leather seats, electrically operated and heated door mirrors and rain-sensitive wipers. I think that latter item will be especially useful in Wales!

Does it have any issues? Well, naturally, as is almost always the case with sub-£1000 ‘bangers,’ there are some faults. The not-cold air conditioning is one, the gearbox that crunches into third is another – I’m hoping gearbox oil will help here. The brakes feel slightly juddery too, so new discs may be in order fairly soon. I like it a lot though and hopefully it’ll prove to be an ideal winter vehicle. If I’m feeling flush, I might even consider some winter tyres…

I don’t want to like it, but I do

The Land Rover Freelander is a car I really don’t want to like, but must admit that I do.

The whole idea of soft-roaders is fairly disagreeable after all. If you want an off-roader, buy an off-roader. If you want a chariot to take the kids to school, buy an MPV. Your kids will probably be safer in it for a start. The whole idea of buying a 4×4 to use for anything other than heavy towing or off-roading does seem peculiar. It’d be like picking a stilleto as the ideal shoe for running a marathon.

Freelander. A bit rubbish really. Looks nice though...

So, the type of vehicle it is certainly grates. What else? Ah yes. The fact that it’s quite rubbish. Engines consist of head-gasket blowing petrols (1.8 K-Series or KV6 if you’re really brave), and really quite good diesels. Don’t get carried away though, as the transmissions seem to have all the robustness of a Citroen BX 4×4, and there’s no low-range option. You do get hill descent, but that’s a bit like making friends with your computer rather than actual people. And it’s so dangerous on ice and very slippy surfaces that the handbook tells you not to use it. “Just stay in with a cup of tea and a nice book,” it says. Possibly.

Build quality is also what you’d expect from Solihull. Rubbish. Bits will fall off and electrical components will impress with the way that they fail. On the plus side, all these problems mean that there are lots of forums where owners share their latest disasters and look for a shoulder to cry on.

Yet I really like them. That must come down purely to the looks. They got this one about spot on really. It looks like someone took the Vauxhall Frontera Sport – another 4×4 I’m sadly quite fond of – and gave it a smart makeover. The front end is chunky and menacing without being threatening, the 3-door looks solid and purposeful and the rear end, despite what should be complete and utter tail-lamp carnage, looks really quite pleasant. The gimmicky drop-down rear door glass is the sort of gimmick I hate myself for liking.

I’d really quite like to own one, even though I have driven one and found it remarkably dull. Thus, the fact that blokes judge looks before ability is proved. I’m pleased to say that I don’t always make that mistake…

The New Range Rover

Well, it’s new to me anyway!

Having decided that the Scimitar wasn’t really my kind of car, I went out and bought something that I thought might be closer to the mark. With the plastic fantastic from Tamworth sold, I stuck true to my Midlands roots and bought another Land Rover.

I owned a 90 County V8 last winter, but it didn’t take long for the ridiculous fuel economy – 15mpg – to get a bit much. So it had to go, turning in a handy profit. Rare for me. The 90 wasn’t very practical either – the loadspace is remarkably short.

But I wanted something else from the Solihull firm. It was time for my first Range Rover.

I had my school work experience at Land Rover, as a very lucky 15 year old, and I’ve long had an affinity for their products. The Range Rover has become just as much of an icon as the original Land Rover, though prices haven’t yet caught up. Not by a long way.

I went to view a Range Rover V8 on LPG, but it was an absolute dog that couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding. It also had a really bad exhaust leak, on the manifold I think, an LPG tank taking up most of the boot space and some serious cosmetic issues. It was so bad that even I managed to walk away.

I then checked out a Range Rover diesel.

It was advertised as a Tdi but I got so distracted when I went to view it that I failed to notice that it was actually a VM diesel engine. Idiot! However, it drove very well indeed, so I still agreed to go ahead – albeit paying a few hundred pounds less. Still, it was a gamble. £1000 for a Range Rover on French plates (but with a British ID as well) with no MOT. With the much-derided Italian VM diesel. What could possibly go wrong?

The gamble does seem to have paid off though – I was rewarded with a total MOT bill of just £245 including two new tyres and number plates. That didn’t seem too bad to me.

And it really isn’t too bad. Sure, the engine is a bit laggy, it’s a bit scruffy and the previous owner left it filthy and smoked in, but it drives very nicely, seems remarkably solid in all the important places and should prove just the vehicle I need while we make some home improvements.

There are some niggles – only the driver’s electric window was working, though one of the rears is now playing ball after a fuse change. The headlining was sagging as well, so I’ve removed it while I decide whether to fit a new GRP one or to re-trim the original. There is a slight leak from one of the front hubs and the heater blower doesn’t operate – I’ve ordered a new resistor pack to cure this.

I love it though. The price paid doesn’t seem much for an absolute icon. Sure, an earlier one would have more appeal, but these later ones are much more refined – even when fitted with a rattly Italian diesel engine.

Brushes up alright on her British plates, don’t you t

HubNut – celebrating the average!