One of my favourite things to do is write. I have always found it easy to do, though I’d never claim that writing about old cars for a living is necessarily easy. There is research to be done (I get paid to read books!), and an audience to be considered. Plus, you rarely have the freedom to talk about what you want to. For me, that’s dreadful cars. I love dreadful cars! It’s why my video channel is chock full of them.

I just need to vent my mind man!

But, as much as I’ve enjoyed doing the videos (over 160 of them now!), nothing beats the joy I get from chucking on some bass-heavy music and just emptying my brain via my fingers. This is my caffeine. This is my hit. I haven’t planned this post at all you see, I just started writing it at 1956hrs on the 26th October, and am letting my brain run free. It’s an exhilarating feeling.

You see, I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that to be an automotive writer, you must love cars. Well, ok. That bit is true as it happens. It’s be a crap job if I actually liked insects, or clean air. But, you must also dearly love writing. It’s just as big a part of the job spec.

My love of writing began very much when I was at school. The best thing that could happen would be to sit in an English class, get given a spec and told to go write a story. I just would. I wouldn’t think about it, or plan it, I’d just start writing and let the creative juices flow. I’d be lost in my own little world as I constructed storylines. My difficulties came when it was time for editing and proofing. I couldn’t be bothered with that, so I’d just re-write the story completely, changing almost every aspect of it. Thankfully, I’ve got better at that since, or I’d be a pretty poor editor, but back then, tweaking would inevitably evolve into Version 2.0.

I can remember one specific story, which revolved around Macbeth. We had to write a modern day version. My story was based on a girl I knew (surprise) and her horrible boyfriend – the perfect baddie! It opened with a bus ride, because I’m too predictable, an attempted sexual assault (not too bad, because I was squeamish), a girl in a coma and a hero, who caught sight of the incident and is then facing a battle to avoid being killed by our bad guy. Yeah, ok. Shakespeare may have employed a bit more skill and finesse, but then he didn’t have a car chase involving a Land Rover Series III V8 on coil springs and a Toyota Hiace van did he? Bet you didn’t see that coming (no need to guess which one our hero drove).

It had sod all to do with Macbeth really, apart from that attempting to silence witnesses. There wasn’t much killing, because I liked my characters too much to kill them. Even the girl in the coma recovered. I can’t recall what happened to Mr Evil.

I’ve got carried away. However, I’m not editing this post. Either you get all of this, or I’ll have to start again, and I’ve already written over 500 words, and I can’t be bothered.

My point is, writing is simply one of the best things. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like making music too (ukulele and bass guitar, with occasional piano and even more occasional reed organ), which is wonderful when you’re part of a group. It’s collaborative in a way writing just isn’t.

But, fingers flying is what I love most. It feels exactly the same to me as cruising along in a car at motorway speeds. Thoughts jostle in the mind while you focus on the task is hand. As I do this, I have no idea which words will appear next. Usually ones necessary to complete a sentence I guess, or it’d look pretty random.

This is the very opposite of writer’s block.

I wrote that, then immediately had writer’s block. What are the chances? It clearly alarms the brain and causes a mild panic. Don’t even think about it.

I often think I’d like to get back into story writing. I have occasional bursts, like the time I wrote up a particularly vivid dream I had a few years back. If I can find that one, maybe I’ll post it up for your amusement.

The biggest challenge with writing an actual story is that spark of inspiration. At school, we’d be told what was expected of us and I’d run away with it.  Actually, one time I REALLY ran away with it, when we were given a list of typical phrases you’d expect to hear in a TV Holiday programme. I managed to incorporate all of the lines in a typical British spy thriller. I had fun with that one. I wish I still had a record of it.

But, whenever, as an adult, I’ve tried to engage the brain and write a story, it has ended up going nowhere. Writing a novel is SERIOUSLY hard work. I think the people who do it must actually have a bit of a think before they get started. I’m not so good at that bit. Maybe I need a collaborative partner, someone to say ‘here’s an idea…’ and then off I’ll go.

I’ve tried creative writing groups, and once made the mistake of paying money for an online writing course (a COMPLETE farce), but creative writing groups rarely cover the sort of topics I want to cover, which I’m afraid are very formulaic. But, I’d love to write a romantic drama, or spy thriller which was actually chock full of actually-correct vehicle descriptions, or write a chase scene which is actually vaguely realistic about what a car can or can’t do. Maybe one day I will.

For now, I’m just pressing buttons on a keyboard and soothing my own soul. Thank you for reading and welcome to the inside of my head. The next post will be back to cars. Don’t worry.

Now, don’t get carried away. I’ve thought cars were amazing before, but sometimes, a car arrives on the fleet at just the right moment, and I get a buzz that I certainly do not always get.

The XM created that buzz, until the heavy clutch, horrible gearchange and the fact it had four bloody pedals got too much for me (the Lexus has the same stupid foot-operated parking brake, but at least has the decency to dispense with a clutch pedal). My Land Rover Discovery also created that buzz, though it rather spoilt it by frequently going wrong. The Rover P6B definitely had a strong buzz about it, tempered only by the battering my wallet took to keep it on the road, and my inability to put fuel into it (odd filler neck, once had a petrol pump time out on me).

But the Lexus is, so far, ticking boxes aplenty. There’s the whole wiper thing, which I may have mentioned once or twice, but it’s not just the beautiful engineering of the driver’s dual wiper arm, there’s also the way the wipers sweep a vast amount of windscreen, leaving few blind spots (the Honda is good at this too). There’s a mist function on the wiper stalk too and, joy of joys, a variable intermittent setting. Bloomin’ handy when you live in Wales.

Excellent wipers. Mostly hidden.

Plus, and this is my final wiper point, I promise, I love the way they park. The wipers park out of sight, resting in a slightly-raised position when in use. This is nothing new, such wiper behaviour can be seen on everything from a Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud through the Rover P4 and 5 right up to the Austin Montego and Alfa Romeo 164 (when that bit actually works, it often didn’t on mine). But, what sets the Lexus apart from all these is that if the wipers are resting, and you turn the wipers off, they just quietly park away. On every other one of the cars mentioned, the wipers will do a final sweep (a part sweep on some) before thunking away to the park position. If you didn’t actually WANT a final sweep, this is annoying.

Moving swiftly on, the interior of the Lexus is a bloody lovely place to be too. It’s surprisingly modern, with lots of curving plastic that feels nice to the touch. It’s amazingly uncluttered too. There aren’t actually that many toys to play with. Look at the interior of a Toyota Century, in production by the same company at the same time as the Lexus, and you can marvel at how different hings are. The Toyota has buttons on top of buttons.

The seats are also beautifully comfortable, in a way the seats in the Vauxhall Omega just aren’t. The leather is soft and caressing, and inviting. Even if the seat heaters do not work. (in the front at least, not tested the rears yet).

Sure, it’s not all good. The ride isn’t perfect, though it is pretty good. The handling is pretty woeful though. Like a CX, it pays to be incredibly smooth with your steering inputs. Make hasty corrections and it all feels as wobbly as a tango on a bouncy castle.

It’s very peaceful, which is always nice on a long journey, though a leaky sunroof seal means there is noise that shouldn’t be there. It’s actually quieter to open the sunroof, though only in the tilt position. Have the ‘moon roof’ right back and it’s louder than the Bluebird was – though the Bluebird was utterly remarkable in that fact. You could drive along at motorway speeds with sunroof and windows open and it didn’t hurt.

It is effortless. Not quite electric motor effortless, but good nonetheless. At 1000rpm, the 4-litre, quad-cam V8 is producing over 150Nm of torque! That’s 110lb.ft, or about 20 more than a Bluebird 1.6 produces as maximum. It isn’t power I’ve been craving, but torque! Incidentally, a 2CV has 29lb.ft of torque, which really is not very much. The maximum the Lexus produces is 365Nm/269lb.ft at 4600rpm.

It’s allied to one of the smoothest automatic transmissions I’ve ever encountered. It isn’t often I drive even an automatic where I don’t know what gear it is in, but this is one of them. The rev counter is necessary for some indication. Often, it’s the only clue that a change has occurred. Even when you hoof it, or double-kickdown, it doesn’t take long to sort itself out.

Oh, some for fun facts – the owners’ manual recommends not exceeding 50mph in first, or 83mph in second. The lever has a nice action too, pulling down through PRN to D, then across to 3, and down to 2 and L (or 1) if needs be. I like that. Approaching roundabouts or sharp bends, I still like to knock it down to third, which it does beautifully smoothly. It gives the brakes a slightly easier time. There’s a lot of weight to haul down! The discs are also warped judging by the judder I get at times.

On top of everything, I’ve always loved the looks of the LS400, even if I prefer the first-generation for its slightly edgier front end. Those smooth looks aren’t just to look good either – this car has a drag coefficient of just 0.29cd – that’s slightly better than a Honda NSX or the remarkable 1983 Audi 100. A Jaguar X300 is 0.37 by comparison, which is a lot. This, more than anything, helps explain why the Lexus can nudge 30mpg, which, even though I’ve really tried, seems impossible with the Jag (27mpg the best I managed, by driving like a saint).

So, it’s a complete package then, that allows me to overlook some of the problems it has – like not fitting in parking spaces. Whether it can maintain this high level of joy remains to be seen, but I’m about to fork out for a timing belt change, so I really do hope it stays in the good books for some time to come!

My last post on here concluded that the Bluebird needed to go. The pleasing news is that it has! I was hoping to get £600 for a car I’d spent considerably more on, such is the way I do things. When I got offered a Lexus LS400 as a direct swap, it would have been foolish to refuse.

My new Lexus. Quite an upgrade!

The Bluebird simply needed too much more work to make it decent. I’d run out of energy and motivation. It needed a new home. It has found an enthusiastic one too – John has already replaced the clutch and is now trying to improve the rather tired interior. I’m impressed, and happy that it found a good home.

I’m also pleased because this was no transfer of convenience. I’ve long admired the Lexus LS400, for reasons of luxury, V8 engines and also windscreen wiper. This was the first Japanese car that really took on the might of Europe and the USA when it came to large, luxury saloons. It had prestige, presence and power. Previous luxury efforts, such as the Toyota Century, Nissan President and Mitsubishi Debonair, were just a bit too Japanese. Well, to be honest, they were a bit too Russian in feel, with elderly styling that was unusual to the point of oddity.

Or, they were simply a class below. The Toyota Camry, Nissan Maxima and Mitsubishi Sigma were front-wheel drive and a bit too mainstream. They were rivals for cars such as the Ford Granada and Vauxhall Carlton, not the BMW 7-Series, Mercedes-Benz S-Class and Jaguar XJ6. The Lexus LS400, a brand new brand from Toyota, tackled the class-leaders head on. Rivalling the hewn-from-granite feel of the Mercedes-Benz W126 was no mean feat, but Lexus managed it.

It became a success too, selling over 165,000 units for the first generation, from 1989 to 1994. Just to confuse matters, the first generation included a Mk1 and a Mk2 with subtle changes. In late 1994, the LS400 changed to a second generation, but this is called a Mk3. That’s what I have, with a higher-compression, interference engine, producing 260bhp, but also destroying itself if the timing belt snaps. Previous LS400s were of a non-interference design.

This fact is relevant, as the history is a bit patchy on my Lexus, and I’ve no idea if the belt has been changed since it was (apparently) done at 55,000 miles. It now has 156,000 miles on the clock…

Naturally, there really is no comparison with a Bluebird 1.6LX. The Lexus has effortless torque, offers much greater comfort and luxury and is so much more peaceful. Mind you, it is also far, far larger and drinks a lot more fuel. I’d estimate I achieved around 25mpg on my drive home – more accurate figures will have to wait. The Bluebird managed 41mpg on a recent trip…

But, the Lexus offers enjoyment that the Bluebird could not. It offers serenity and easy pace that the Bluebird could not. I’ve decided that greater running costs are worth it (it’s not like the Bluebird has been cheap to revive!). How long that mindset will continue remains to be seen, but as my love for electric cars grows, I thought I’d better make sure I enjoy some more V8 action while I still can.

Sure, it probably won’t offer the same ready flow of video updates as the Bluebird managed – just like the Honda. I’ve barely mentioned that in a year, because it just keeps working. Don’t worry though. I’ll be keeping the dreadful car reports coming. Sure, the Proton is also off to a new home, but there are plenty of cars I have my sights on, even if owning them isn’t a priority right now. I’m not about to ‘sell out’ and go all glamorous just because I have a nice car.

Cor! Delicious wipers.

Anyway, enough waffle. Here’s my latest video on my latest purchase.

Oh dear. Work has conspired to keep me very busy, hence 20 days since the previous post.

For some of those days, we were in Ireland, in the 2CV, which was nice.

I also got the Proton MOTd, though having been home-based for a couple of weeks, I’ve barely covered any miles in it so far.

The same is true of the Bluebird, though I’ve a feeling that car will be covering some serious mileage during September. The Bluebird is now fitted with Blockley Tyres’ in 185/70 R14 size, which is far better than the wrong 175/65 R14 size that was fitted. The new tyres are a good bit taller, so the gearing is better, the speedo reading is more accurate and the car looks better. Well, I think so anyway.

It’s the wrong tyres Gromit.

That’s better! Chunky rubber.

Now, the top shot is the car parked on a slope, hence the mild crossaxle going on, but those arches look very empty. With the new tyres, the car just looks much better. The 185 size is actually what was fitted to alloy wheels, whereas 165 R14s with an 80 profile would have been standard for a 1.6LX. I hope you’ll forgive me a bit of width, but I do like to push on a bit, so it seemed wise.

The Bluebird is also now running on Evans Coolant, specifically the Power Cool 180 product. It’s too early to say whether Evans really makes any difference, so we’ll see how it goes. With a boiling point of 180 degrees, at least it shouldn’t steam up too readily though, despite what Evans says, just because it isn’t steaming doesn’t mean the engine isn’t overheating. There is a temperature gauge, however, so it’s not too difficult to monitor. So far, so normal.

On the plus side, the coolant should reduce corrosion within the engine, and should last a lot longer than regular coolants – indefinitely if the blurb is to be believed. It’s also classed as non-toxic, thanks to an additive which renders the definitely-toxic ethelyne-glycol safe – not that I’m about to test this by drinking some. I may try pouring a little on an unimportant patch of grass though, as regular antifreeze will certainly kill it!

The Bluebird is now running sweetly though. I’ve re-torqued the cylinder head, reset the valve clearances, sorted a leak from the manifold to downpipe joint (I had a very poor fitting gasket here) and have also knocked the ignition timing back slightly as it was pinking a little.  We’ll see how it goes.

The Honda has spent the month on SORN, so I could get the Proton roadworthy again. It’s for sale, but despite some keen interest, I don’t yet have a deposit. I don’t want it on SORN indefinitely, so if it hasn’t sold for definite by 1st September, then the Proton will get SORNed, and the Honda can return to the road. For some reason, I have missed it, even though it’s generally not very good to drive on so many levels. Odd.

Which leaves the Nippa, which soldiers on merrily, even more so since the front tyres were replaced and the tracking sorted out. Lovely.