OMG FLEET KAOS

It’s been an interesting week for the fleet. One car left the fleet, and appears unhappy with the situation, while the remaining pair are trying to out-do each other in the worrying-noises stakes. Naturally the only sensible option was to buy another car…

Following two days of rather frenetic work, the Green Tiger departed for pastures new yesterday (Wednesday). I somehow managed to sell it last week, during an equally busy work episode, proving that men can multi-task. Well, as long as the multi-tasks involve cars and, er, cars.

The grand sum of £250 saw the BX ready to depart. In a curious turn of events that sums up our strange, modern world, I haven’t met the chap who’s buying it at all. He sent electronic money, a mutual friend (as in some bloke we know from a funny car forum) offered to be delivery driver and so I waved goodbye to a bloke in someone else’s new car. The theory was marvellous. Mr bloke got a nice, paid-for day out, and the BX buyer got a new car delivered for a low fee.

Sadly the BX had other ideas and once across the border into England, decided it had gone far enough. The pedal box broke, meaning less and less throttle could be opened. Eventually, the car was recovered to its new home in Chesterfield. I have no idea whether the driver has made it home yet…

The BX continues to frustrate both its new owner and its recent one, by deciding not to charge any more. It has had stripes removed as punishment.

So, we were down to two cars. Not out of choice. I’d actually been looking for a new motor for the best part of a week, and was hopeless in my attempts to decide what I wanted. For most of last week, I wanted a Suzuki Cappuccino. On Saturday, I wanted a 4.5-litre Cadilliac. It was enormous and looked entirely hopeless. I liked it a lot. On Sunday, I decided a 4.5-litre V8 was a bit silly, and a 3.9-litre Discovery was a better idea. By Monday I’d realised the folly of this. Clearly an Alfa Romeo 164 Cloverleaf was a better idea. On Tuesday, I considered the benefit of all the cars I’d so far considered. On Wednesday, I said ‘no’ to the Alfa but otherwise realised that my head hurt quite a lot. Today, I purchased a Mercedes-Benz 300E. Which I haven’t seen yet. In fact, I seem to have bought it by text message. What could possibly go wrong? I’ll find out on Tuesday.

Sadly, I’d made my offer on the Mercedes before noticing that the 2CV had become rather poorly. I realised that as I made a few pre-flight checks before a trip to Devon and Somerset tomorrow. Sadly, the 2CV failed the check “make sure the engine isn’t knackered.” The flickering oil pressure light at tickover was a clue that all was not well. Sure enough, the engine feels as smooth as a hedgehog’s back. I think the big ends are on their way out.

A knackered 2CV, yesterday

That’s ok though, because I have a trusty Turbo Diesel BX to fall back on. Yeah, well, that’s making some odd noises too. Either the accumulator has suddenly lost pressure, or the pump is about to fall apart. Is it up to a bit of a road trip? I hope so.

In the meantime, I’ve got to deal with an incoming new car with only a month’s MOT on it, a 2CV in need of refurbishment of almost all of it and not enough money for all of this. Still, more interesting (and possibly cheaper) than buying a brand new car on credit.

What do you reckon?

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