I’m a writer. I get paid to convert information floating around my head into words. I use a computer keyboard to make the transition. Now I have a problem.

You see, last night, I managed to chop off a small part of my thumb in a remarkably stupid incident involving an axe. As I’m discovering as I try to type this, it’s a massive problem. I touch type (albeit not properly) so the use of all digits is something I consider very necessary. Trying to type while one thumb is damaged and wrapped up like a particularly portly sausage is bloomin’ difficult. I’m sort-of trying to use the right-hand more, but have to hold my damaged thumb up to allow the two hands to overlap. I’m also likely to get RSI from hitting the delete key.

It’s scary to be honest. I rely on the humble computer keyboard to communicate with the world, my many friends, employers and family. I can hurl words onto the screen at a rate of 85 words per minute when I’m really flowing. Not today. It’s hugely frustrating.

Nor can I really drive. I had a go earlier and immediately ran into issues with the seatbelt and the handbrake. Every gearchange hurt, so I reluctantly clambered back into the passenger seat. Then my brain decided it needed a rest so I’ve achieved pretty much nothing today but snooze on the sofa.

I damaged my hand turning a log into kindling, after somehow forgetting that it’s a good idea to remove your hand from an object before smacking it with an axe. An actual fire is a lot more dangerous than gas central heating. My wife and I do pick up minor injuries fairly frequently, and you don’t know misery until you’ve spent almost an hour moving freshly delivered, dry logs in the pouring rain as you desperately try to get them under cover. No worries though – there’s a good, wholesome feeling that you just don’t get from twirling  a thermostat. But you do need to be careful when twirling sharp objects.

Doing nothing is proving very frustrating. This blog entry must stop soon as writing it really hurts. I can’t play any musical instruments (well, piano just about but bass guitar and ukulele are impossible) and I can’t really get on with any of the DIY tasks that need doing on the house. Worse – Rachel and I may have to share the driving as we head to Sussex on Saturday. This is a novel and somewhat worrying prospect purely because I’m a crap passenger.

Grateful I am though that the damage is not worse and that the staff at Bronglais Hospital are so efficient and friendly. Now I really must stop! (be glad there are no photos!)