Having successfully reached Shitefest, I settled down for a very enjoyable weekend of car-related nonsense.

The line up of hopelessness

As you can see, the field was chock full of dreadfulness. Most of those cars belong to only three people and most had to be dragged to the site as they weren’t actually road legal. The beige Polonez is though – I drove it last year and declared it surprisingly uncrap.  The Niva is a parts source for another that joined us greenlaning.

The greenlaning was an added dimension to this event and the reason I was meant to be travelling up in the Discovery. The failure of the Disco to proceed turned out to be a good thing though. It gave me an opportunity to play passenger, and that was actually really good fun, especially in the back of a roofless Frontera.

The fun way to get into a Frontera

I got to drive the Frontera and the Niva, which both impressed off-road. The Frontera was hilariously uncomfortable though, thanks largely to the leaf springs at the rear. It was very bouncy! But it also impressed on-road, where it could be hustled with surprising pace. I’m not sure it was any more uncomfortable than my old Ford Maverick, and that had coil springs! It was hugely spacious in the rear and everyone who travelled in it jumped out smiling.

Greenlaning with a Niva

Outstanding scenery and good humour meant we had a great day. For food, a convoy of two Volvo 740 estates and a Montego whisked us to Settle for a chip shop visit, before we all thawed out in a local pub. It was perishing! The weekend also saw me riding a Honda C90 motorcycle. I still accept that motorcycles are great fun in a field, but I’m still not keen on the idea of riding one on actual roads. There was also an opportunity to relax and enjoy weapons – ranging from archery to axe throwing. All car meets should have this.

Fortunately, the Golf got me home with no further dramas. It even managed 34mpg, which is far better than it usually manages! Now all I need to do is fix the Discovery…