I could scarcely believe it when I read so-called ‘news’ stories alleging that Top Gear was in trouble in Argentina. It just seemed hilarious that a registration plate could cause so much fuss. The story has snow-balled since then, and I wonder how. The allegation is that the number plate H982 FKL is somehow a direct reference to the Falklands War, which happened in 1982. I find this unlikely.

Some cocking about, not upsetting Argentina, not yesterday

First off, that number plate had been on that Porsche 928 since it was brand new. Secondly, Clarkson is well-known for liking 928s. He’s already destroyed one in the name of entertainment. How nice to be in a position where you can destroy lovely cars and get paid for it. I think I’d rather be skint. Which is convenient, as I am. I digress. The point is, the car was chosen for what it was, not because of the number plate it had worn since 1991.

But, despite my increasing dislike of a programme that gets further away from being about motoring with every series, I have to side with the team here. They sound appalled that this situation has blown up. I believe they were caught out by sheer coincidence.

It’s quite scary how many people outright refuse to believe this though. And that tells you where Top Gear has gone wrong. It has become so reliant on controversy that people are ready to believe that they deliberately provoked Argentina about a war in which hundreds of people died. They can honestly believe that it was just a joke to make people chuckle in the safety of their own homes. It is entirely reasonable to think that the team WANTED to be pelted with rocks and chased across the country.

It doesn’t matter how much the production team try to deny it, many people consider it the truth – even though the story broke in the British gutter press. I even wonder if the Argentinians even knew there was a potential issue before someone had a word with them. After all, the team were three days from finishing filming on what is presumably a lengthy piece. It seems unlikely they’d want to create quite that much of a stir.

Oh well. It seems Top Gear is reaping what it has sown now. I don’t believe they were in the wrong this time, but it just goes to show that if you court controversy, it’ll catch you out one day. I’ll stick to writing nice blogs and shooting nice, but hopeless, videos.

Well, after a bit of a panic when the DVLA’s new computer system fell over, all now seems to have settled down. So, I can address some queries folk naturally have about the changes. How do you renew your tax and what are the options? Here’s what I now see when I enter the 2CV’s details at http://www.vehicleenquiry.service.gov.uk

Now more choice than ever!

Ignoring what a rip-off it is for my poor little, 602cc Citroen, you can see that there are now five options. The 6 month and 12 month rates remain the same, but the three new options allow direct debit payments monthly, six-monthly or annually. Monthly and six-monthly attract a premium of 5%. Direct Debits can apparently be set-up online or at the Post Office. The figures shown are for pre-2001 cars with less than 1550cc. Having just paid at the old rates as the tax lapsed at the end of September, I won’t be making any further payments until 1st April 2015. I have rather bigger questions to address then about what I do with the 2CV to be honest as the MOT is up around then.

I’m sure a lot of people will be opting for the Direct Debit option though. It means you can’t forget that it is running out (though DVLA will still issue reminders) and spreads the cost across the year. If your MOT runs out or you sell the car, DVLA will cancel the direct debit.

But the biggest pain for me is that vehicle tax doesn’t transfer with the car now. As I generally buy cars at the cheaper end of the market, that’s a pain. It means a cheap car will always have an additional cost. That said, if I set up the tax via direct debit, it’s only another £12-20 on top per month. There’s no need for a huge outlay immediately.

Keep these details to hand though. The website is www.gov.uk/tax-disc and you can call 0300 123 4321. Calls cost 2p-10p from a landline, 10p-40p from a mobile BUT the numbers are treated like geographic ones, so you can use your free minutes. And remember the terminology. It’s not road tax, it’s vehicle tax – or Vehicle Excise Duty if you want to be really boring about it.

Welcome to the new dawn. The world of vehicle tax changed. Discs are history. This is a new, better world. Or, it would be if the DVLA’s new vehicle tax system hadn’t fallen flat on its face!

Yes, the new ‘this will make your life easier’ way of working has gone utterly wrong. People are frantically trying to tax their vehicles, and the system just isn’t coping. Both website and call centre have been overwhelmed. On any scale, this has not been a success.

Happily for me, the payment of an outstanding invoice meant I was able to get my 2CV taxed yesterday afternoon. I’d love to check whether it has been updated on the database – you know, the one the Police now use to see whether you’ve paid your tax because you don’t have a disc anymore. That’s broken as well.

My 2CV with tax disc removed

As the old disc expired yesterday, I have removed it. I have also removed the disc in my Rover, mainly because the disc holder was rubbish. People are already starting to wonder what to replace their tax disc with. An old replica disc? An old disc that for some unfathomable reason you haven’t thrown away? A digestive biscuit? (yes, I did see that suggestion on Twitter this morning). Personally, I’m not that fussed, so no disc at all is what I’ve gone for.

But it’ll be interesting to see how the new system works – once it actually does work. How quickly will the database update once tax has been paid? How easy will it be to tax a car on demand when buying a new one? Remember – this is something you must now do. Hopefully I’ll get to test that myself before too long. The Rover is up for sale and I’ve got my eye on a replacement. Why do I get the feeling though that this is all going to be a right pain in the arse?