Finding the right next car is a nightmare that never gets any easier. It has made me sit back and reassess things.

I live a frugal life on a frugal income. Many sacrifices have been made. We can’t have children, because we can’t afford them, though to be honest, we like our sleep too much and have enough trouble just looking after a cat, so there are other factors at work. Cost is something you need to consider though. The average cost of raising a child is said to be enough to buy a brand new Aston Martin. Food for thought isn’t it?

Five cylinders prevent terminal boredom

As it happens, I can’t afford an Aston Martin either, but I still desperately seek new automotive thrills. Cheap cars are a great way to experiment. Without spending too much money, I’ve learnt that Daihatsus are fun but uncomfortable, Saabs are a bit dull but capable, Alfa Romeos are not the nightmare you might expect, Land Rovers are rusty but worthy, Rover 75s are not as comfortable as my back would like, Citroen BXs have frustrating wipers and clutches, Volkswagen Golfs are as exciting as breeze blocks, Ford Mavericks are bouncy but fun and Honda Civics of 1991 are surprisingly good. All of these cars cost less than £1000 to buy, and most didn’t cost too much to own.

I tend to flit between ‘fun’ and ‘sensible.’ Something inappropriate is inevitably replaced by something so dull that I get bored of it very quickly. Finding the happy medium is nigh on impossible. So much so that even the thought of owning a BMW has crossed my mind. The biggest battle is usually between petrol or manual. The desire for economy versus the desire for an engine with a bit of soul about it. Take the Alfa Romeo 156 for example. I’ve already admitted that I love the shape. A four-cylinder petrol seems a bit uninteresting though, while the V6 can be both expensive to fuel and fix. Perhaps the ideal halfway house is the 2.4JTD then, which uses a five-cylinder diesel engine.

Here we have a diesel that actually sounds great. I love five-pot engines, from my old Audi 100 to my neighbour’s Land Rover Discovery II and the Volkswagen Crafter minibus I often drive. They growl in a rather pleasing manner, sounding slightly off-beat due to the five-cylinders partaking in a four-stroke cycle. They take you right back to the excitement of Group B rallying, when five-pot Audis screamed around rally stages in a proper, spine-tingling manner. Check this out!

It’s a magical noise. Naturally, road cars are a bit quieter than that, and diesels aren’t going to match the insane revs, but they still sound muscular and exciting.

Which is an odd thing to say when you think about it. My wife doesn’t understand what I’m on about at all. To her, the three-pot Daihatsu is no more interesting than a four-pot one. To me, it’s the essential difference.

Yet, other than when accelerating hard, there’s little chance to hear a musical engine over a bland one. Cruising at motorway speeds, you might as well have electric power. Am I wrong to insist on three, five or six cylinders when actually four would do very nicely most of the time? I blame the mental scars of Rover P6 ownership. I’ve owned a V8, which was marvellous, and a four-cylinder 2000, which was an extreme case of bland.

This is all before we get down to the importance of wipers. Recent Facebook comments on my blog posts suggest I’m alone in being quite so OCD about windscreen wipers. I don’t care. I’ve always been fascinated by them and ‘poor’ wiper layouts drive me mad.

Anyway, I’ve digressed quite a bit. There is no conclusion as yet. Buying a car is always emotive, never more so than when an Alfa Romeo is considered. Could a 156 2.4JTD be the perfect car?

The search engine has become one of the most important tools to use when working on your classic car. But how do you get the best out of it?

The internet has become as important a tool as a torque wrench

I’m no expert at tinkering, that’s for sure, but I’ve learnt plenty over the years – often by trial and error. The internet is a HUGE help – so much so that I wonder how we ever coped without it. If I run into a problem, the only difficulty is cleaning my hands before hitting the internet in search of words of wisdom.

Be warned though. For every word of wisdom, there may be many false trails. It’s like anything in life. Don’t believe the first thing you read and be prepared to interrogate Google (or your favourite search engine) hard to get the information you want. Car club membership can be a god-send, and many clubs have members-only resources to help you gain the information you need. It’s a major benefit – I would have been utterly clueless with my Ford Maverick if it were not for the sterling work of the folks at the Nissan 4×4 Owners Club for instance, and 2CVGB takes the strain out of opening a car which scares most British garages. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that to own any of the non-conventional Citroens – from Traction Avant to BX and Xantia – you really need to get a grip with the technology. Forums allow you to do that.

With the Discovery, I’m utterly spoilt for choice. There are so many forums, that I do end up Googling and searching through the many, many responses. It takes patience and an ability to configure the question to provide suitable answers. This is a skill I learnt while working in an office. I soon became known as the Microsoft Office expert, but this was only because I got very good at using the Help function. This was the days before open internet, so Help was all I had. I learnt how to interrogate it, how to change the wording of my query to get the response I needed and that getting no answer usually meant the wrong question had been asked. The solution here is to rethink your question. Is the terminology wrong? Is what I’m asking impossible? I learnt that my Daihatsu has no in-line fuel filter by a combination of Google and Ebay. There are no in-line fuel filters available for first generation Sirions – that was quite a clue that there isn’t one.

If the answer doesn’t exist, even by the power of the search engine, then you can ask questions yourself. DO have a good search first though, as your question is very likely to have been asked before. There really is no need to ask whether Britpart make good quality parts for Land Rovers, or which chassis is best for a Citroen 2CV. Your Mini has corrosion in the rear subframe? Well, don’t ask about what you can do about it – many, many people already have. Forum folk get driven mad by folk who are too lazy to search properly.

So, my golden rules of internet car fixing:

1) Use the search tools. Your problem is probably not new.

2) As well as Google or similar, check out the search functions on relevant forums.

3) Add specifics. Discovery 200Tdi, 1984 Citroen 2CV6, BX TZD Turbo etc.

4) Don’t dive on the first answer you find. Keep searching, keep researching. Other solutions may appear.

5) Latex gloves make it easier to ‘remove’ dirt so you can more quickly access the internet without getting oil on your keyboard.